My Personal Inspiration

Daily Diatribe: Balls to That

It’s hard to decide where to start this blog when there are just so many things on my mind: annoying cell phone talkers at the Target, ignorant self-righteous co-workers, a painful wedgie that persists no matter what… I guess the best place to start is with an item from the That is the Stupidest Thing Every Invented and Damn, Why Didn’t I Think of That file. I know, you have all sorts of ideas of what this might be. The “Snuggie” you guess? Wrong. The “Forever Lazy”? Not quite, but definitely something I want to cover at a future date. No, today I want to cover the fad that is sweeping stupider parts of the nation: TRUCK NUTS.

I was first introduced to “Truck Nuts” by my beloved husband who loves to tell me about all manner of things that I have told him repeatedly that I do not need to hear about. I didn’t believe that someone would not only conceive of the idea but go on to manufacture pairs of plastic testicles designed to be proudly hung from the tailgate of one’s truck. On road trips outside of my sophisticated big city, I saw truck nuts up close, hanging from seemingly-normal people’s tailgates. I also noted that they came in a variety of colors, so that you could embrace your ethnic pride or mood with a pair of pendulous life-like balls hanging from your rusty pickup. And, best of all, an ingenious entrepreneur who surely thought that women were feeling left out not having testicles and all created TRUCK TITTIES. I know that I feel better having this option.

So there you have it, my first diatribe. I am Super Crabby and my panties are permanently in a bunch. xoxoxoxo